Surprise them with gifts outside of special occasions, bring home their favorite treat, buy or make them gifts that are personal You pride yourself on giving thoughtful gifts, you most appreciate meaningful gifts Tangible tokens of love and thoughtfulness Make them meals, take on a chore or two around the house, draw them baths You’re happy when someone helps without being asked, actions speak louder than words for you Selfless, thoughtful acts that make a person’s life easier Hold hands, be generous with affection and other types of PDA, prioritize sex if it’s important in the relationship You’re a “touchy-feely” person, you feel most loved when embraced or touched Have date nights, turn off your phones when you’re together, sit together and talk about your daysĬonnection through appropriate physical touch (nonsexual or sexual)

You make time for others, you feel disconnected when you don’t spend enough time together Giving another person your undivided attention Say - and mean - more I love you’s, thank you’s, you matter to me’s, and the like

You like hearing “I love you” often, you thrive when you’re encouraged by others But there are many things people tend to get wrong about the love languages.Verbal expressions of love, appreciation, and encouragement

This useful information is an essential part of any couple's tool kit for skillful loving. Chapman encourages efforts to speak love in our partner's language, not ours, and to give not what we want but what our partner wants. His book on the love language theory addresses one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship, which is the understanding that 'my partner is not me.' One of the great lessons love teaches us is the ability to really see our partner as 'other' and find ways to understand and make room for someone who is not like us. This lack of attention to the details can oftentimes lead to an ineffective application of its teachings.Īccording to Chapman, the five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and gifts. But fast-forward two decades, and it seems many people have lost sight of some of the original wisdom interlaced throughout this nuanced philosophy. Chapman's book was first published in 1995, and even 20 years after its initial publication, it remained in the top 20 books on Amazon and has been a New York Times bestseller for eight years.

The love language book